Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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