I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
