I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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