How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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