It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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