He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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