You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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