the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he thought i was a dude.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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