he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
