So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
