We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize