ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
