He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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