she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
