you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
No subtext here. People are naked.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
