The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
