Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize