Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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