Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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