I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
