new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
