Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
