This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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