Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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