It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
