Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
