I wanna passion pit in your ass
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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