Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
