If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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