let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
