He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
