Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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