think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Please, let me fuck your mom
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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