my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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