I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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