Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
A bitchslap is in order.
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