I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
