We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
