i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
