My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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