Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Randomize
