I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize