I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
