Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
