She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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