the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
be right there i have to get my cape
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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