they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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