will power is for people who don't want to get laid
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
