Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
