fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
