He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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