Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
