i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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