Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am one with the molecules
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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