Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
