have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
