I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
