my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
bring money and cleavage
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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